Throwback to 2013.
Mel 1: I wanna be happy! Mel 2: Ok, so what will make me happy?
Mel 1: I wanna have amazing relationships! Mel 2: Ok, so what do I want in the people around me, and what can I bring to their lives?
Mel 1: I wanna have a successful career that I love! Mel 2: Ok, so what field would I like to work in? What am I good at?
Mel 1: I wanna make the world a better place! Mel 2: Ok, so what do I have within me that’ll help me work towards that?
Mel 1: *crickets*
Mel 2 isn’t trying to be a total kill-joy. Mel 2 is just being real. Mel 2 is confused about how to do all of this. Mel 2 doesn’t even know where to start. So, now Mel 1 is feeling overwhelmed, defeated, and lost.
We tend to have all these big dreams and ideas of what our best life should be like, and usually these ideas are based on someone else’s story. Just because someone else’s life is seemingly perfect from your standpoint, definitely doesn’t mean that their life is right for you. Why? Because you are YOU, you are not those other people! You wouldn’t put Vegan Barbie in Butcher Barbie’s shop, would you? (Or maybe you would, you sicko). You wouldn’t plop Pingu in a desert story, or a snake in Antarctica. So, why would you try to place yourself in someone else’s life?
Now here’s the big question: What life is right for you?
To figure out exactly what your best life looks like, you first have to learn about who you are. The person you were born to be.
Only you can find that out. The answers are inside us somewhere; so, let’s figure it out and start creating!
“Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.”
When you begin to learn about yourself, amazing things start happening:
You’ll set goals that’ll improve your life
You’ll avoid confusion and time wasting in situations that don’t serve you
You’ll be able to overcome challenges more easily
You’ll make conscious choices that better your life
You’ll spend more time doing things that make you smile
You’ll feel like your life is truly progressing in the way that you want it to
You’ll feel happier
That all sounds pretty sweet, right? Now check out the four steps that worked for me.
1. Get your quiz on.
Set some time aside to begin to get a good idea of your strengths, weaknesses, values, and personality type. Below is a list of the tools I used myself, and yep, they’re all free.
Strengths Quiz (VIA Character Strengths Test) – Learn what qualities come most naturally to you, and learn how to use them to improve your life.
Personality Type Quiz (Briggs Myers) – Discover your 4-letter personality type code based on the Briggs Myers system. Understand yourself and gain more of an understanding of those around you.
Values Quiz (Dr DeMartini) – Learn about what you value most in life and base your choices and decisions on them. Live a life in alignment with your true values.
2. Be your own observer.
Observe your life as if you’re outside looking in. Ask yourself these questions as often as possible:
How does this environment affect me?
How does this situation affect me?
How do my moods, reactions or choices reflect what happens around me?
Understanding how the people, places and things around you may affect you (positively or negatively) can give you a better idea of what to avoid and what to include more of in your life. It can also help you to recognise what areas you need to put some work into.
Now that you have a better idea of what you’re good at, what you need to improve on, what you value, what kind of personality you have, and how you react to certain situations, you can start making some goals.
3. Get CLEAR on what you want.
Get out a pen and paper right now. Go. Do it. You’ll thank yourself later, I promise!
What do I want to accomplish?
What do I want to experience?
What do I want to acquire?
Who do I want to be?
These are your broad goals.
Stick them up somewhere you’ll see them regularly. Choose one goal from each of the above questions to focus on and break it down into steps.
Create your small and large goals using the SMART formula.
S - be SPECIFIC. Who, what, when, where, how, why?
M - make it MEASURABLE. Can you track or measure your progress? How much, how many, by when, etc.
A - is it ATTAINABLE? Even big goals are attainable if you give yourself enough time, take enough action, and commit. But, remember to be realistic. If you've got 3 kids, 4 hobbies, and a full time job, maybe give yourself a little extra time to avoid disappointment. You know what you can do.
R - is it RELEVANT? Is it relevant to your needs? Is it going to help you get somewhere better? Is it in alignment with your 'truth' (who you truly are, your beliefs, your passions etc).
T - TIME. Give yourself a realistic timeframe and stick to it!
4. Make it happen.
You have everything you need to get started. You know a bit more about yourself and you have some goals that are making you want to jump up and down. So, you commit, and you make them happen.
Whip out your diary or smart phone and start scheduling some of your goals in, with a few reminders along the way to keep you on track.
Remember, you can do anything you put your mind to. You know what kind of life you want to create and you know the type of person you want to be. If you’re truly committed to creating the life of your dreams, then you’ll do it. Have faith and trust, know that you’re capable, and know that you’re worthy. So, so worthy.
There you have it! Four steps to discovering your best life.
Although I’ve given you a starting point, remember that this is a lifelong process. It might require a whole lot of trial and error. What may feel right and true to you now, may not be what feels right and true to you in 10 years, 10 months, 10 weeks, or even 10 days. That’s the beauty of learning! You’ll be forever finding out new things about yourself, you’ll continue to surprise yourself with what you’re capable of, you’ll keep taking different paths, and you’ll be levelling-up for the rest of your life.
When it comes to you and I, the limit to our growth does not exist. The more we grow, the better life will be.
Thank you so much for showing up, and committing to be the change you wish to see in your family. It means the world.
Love & Happiness
P.S Do you know someone who could really benefit from reading this? To give them the motivation and push they need to make a difference in their own lives and the lives of the young people around them? Share this post with them. Even if they don't embrace it straight away, you've done your part. Thank you.
The next step:
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