The Magic & Terror Of Taking Control Of Your Life


As soon as I realized that I am entirely in control of my own life, I felt

completely empowered.

As soon as I realized that I am entirely in control of my own life, I felt

completely terrified.


I’ve learnt that life is pretty incredible when you start doing the things that scare the crap out of you. Sounds crazy, I know. But, knowing that you’re in control of your own life means that you have the power to create it exactly as you wish. You can make your life phenomenal, you can live your wildest dreams, you can travel to far-away countries, you can create your own business, you can surround yourself with incredible people, you can do what you love every day, you can live your best life. YES, you can!

But, guess what? It’s all up to you. Yep, you’re the only one in charge. You have all of that responsibility on your own shoulders. When something goes wrong, guess who gets the blame? YOU. When you don’t reach your goals, guess who’s at fault? YOU. When life's not going to plan, guess who has to take responsibility? Yep, YOU.

The problem is, many people (including the old me) are so quick to blame everyone and everything else for what’s going wrong in their lives.

  • “I’m not happy because work sucks.”

  • “I’m not happy because I had a hard childhood.”

  • “I’m not happy because people treat me like crap.”

  • “I’m not happy because I can’t lose weight.”

  • “I’m not happy because the world is against me.”

When you put all your energy into blaming everyone else for what’s wrong in your life, at what point do you start working on making things good – how you’d like them to be? Or are you waiting for someone to do that for you, too?

Why do so many of us just let life happen to us? I often wonder what’s harder – stepping up, taking responsibility, and working to create our best lives OR living a sub-standard life full of blame and disappointment.

I know which option I’d choose.

Here are a few ways that can help you take control of your life:

  1. Eliminate blame. When something goes wrong, no one and no thing needs to take the blame, including you. Taking responsibility vs taking the blame: Taking the blame: “I can never do anything right. I’m useless. I’m always to blame.” Taking responsibility: “I accept that this didn’t go the way I intended. Upon reflection, I’ve learned that I could have done x, y, z differently. Moving forward, I will give this a go.” Yes, it sounds like you're going through a session of couples therapy with yourself, but this kind of reflective, rational thinking works!

  2. Stop making excuses. Don’t come up with a million excuses as to why something didn’t work out. That’s simply another way of shifting responsibility from you. Accept what is, and move forward with a better understanding of what not to do.

  3. Don’t be so defensive. When someone gives you feedback (constructive or otherwise) it’s not an invitation for you to throw back as many excuses as possible to shift responsibility from you. Instead, try simply saying, “Thanks for your feedback." Then, you can either leave it, or take it on board and move forward with your new knowledge and understanding of the situation.”

  4. Watch your thoughts and how you speak. Try to catch yourself every time you say, “Sorry we’re late, traffic was insane.” Or “I didn’t complete my part of the project because the Internet at home was going slow.” You could've accounted for the traffic, and you could've gone to the library instead. There's almost always another way. If you're late or let someone down - own it! Apologise. Don't make up excuses. All this does is fuel the excuses train and keep the habit going.

  5. Surround yourself with the right people. You’re going to need people to support you and your choices, and people to hold you accountable. Find the right ones. Find the people that have your best interests at heart. Find people who love you, and who aren’t afraid to tell you when you can do or be better. Find people who will be your shoulder to cry on when being in control gets a bit overwhelming. Find people who will help you get back on track to creating your best life. TIP: When you are your true, authentic self, the right people will find you.

“The moment you take responsibility for everything in your life is the moment you can change anything in your life.” – Hal Elrod

My mum has always said, “When there’s a will, there’s a way.” If you want something badly enough then you’ll find a way to make it happen, without the excuses. I get it, it’s easier to make excuses or shift the responsibility to someone else. But, that’s not what taking control of your life is all about. That’s not going to get you to that dream life you always imagined.

I know it’s scary. I know it’s hard. But when you take control of your own life, the rewards are indescribable.

When something goes right, guess who gets to take responsibility? YOU. When you reach your goals, guess who’s to blame? YOU. When life is incredible, guess who is accountable? Yep, YOU.

Love & Happiness


P.S Do you know someone who could really benefit from reading this? To give them the motivation and push they need to make a difference in their own lives and the lives of the young people around them? Share this post with them. Even if they don't embrace it straight away, you've done your part. Thank you.

The next step:

Commit to being the change, and get started on my IHH 10 Days of Gratitude Challenge. Sign up now to receive your FREE copy. I made it especially for you :) (and not once did I let Adobe InDesign beat me! Ok, maybe once…)


From here, get involved in my whole-family approach and register your interest for the IHH Weekly Workshops ONLINE (for adults) and the in-person, Interactive IHH Weekly Workshops (for kids). Both programs launching early 2017! Note: Registering your interest does NOT lock you in to anything – it simply lets me know that people want to make a change, and gives me an idea of when and how I need to make it happen.

#wellness #youth #mentalhealth #wellbeing #happiness #gratitude #positiveeducation #positivity #love #health #kids #mum #dad #children #child #mentalillness #depression #anxiety #childdepression #adolescent #meditation #visualization #visualisation #lifecoach #bestlife #knowyourself #discover #loveyourself #create

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