How many times have you been so excited to get the newest pair of Nike’s, only to have them sitting in the darkest corner of your closet 2 weeks later?
How many times have you been so pumped to start a new exercise routine with your bestie, but after 3 sessions you’re over it and agree to never mention it again?
How many times have you been jumping out of your skin to begin working on your New Year resolutions, only to have them drop off your radar before January is out?
Goals are fun, goals are exciting, goals come with the most wonderful of intentions, but a lot of the time, the novelty wears off within the first few weeks.
I like goals. How can you not? Almost everything is a goal, so we can’t exactly escape them.
Get out of bed in the morning – goal.
Eat a nourishing breakfast – goal.
Get to work on time – goal.
Get through the day – goal.
Get to sleep on time – goal.
Goals can be wonderful things. They can keep you focused on what’s important. They can help you to prioritise what means the most to you. They can give you purpose. They give you a sense of achievement, and they can give you a reason to celebrate!
But, what if you don’t accomplish your goals? What if you completely forget about them? What if your goals change? What if you run out of time? What if you FAIL?
When we don’t achieve a goal, it’s all too easy to throw ourselves a pity party. We feel like failures, our self-worth dwindles, and our confidence takes a nosedive. Trying to get back into a forward momentum becomes nearly impossible if you’re still working on your growth-mindset.
Your inner critic becomes loud. Too loud. And that’s not helpful in any way, shape, or form.
Even accomplishing goals isn’t all rainbows and lollipops. Once you’re done celebrating your achievement, dread creeps in. You just completed the thing that gave you purpose. So, you make a new goal, and suddenly, you’re back to square one.
It’s easy to see the negative effects of traditional goal setting, which is why it’s so important to reshape the way we look at goals, failure and achievement.
“’Failure’ is simply the chance to begin again, this time more intelligently.”
- Henry Ford
We have been brought up to believe that failure equals not reaching an outcome. But in fact, failure equals not trying at all.
Redefine failure, and repeat this mantra every time fear of failure shows up for you: ‘The only time I will ever fail is when I don’t try at all.’
Don’t be afraid of failing. Be ready and accepting of it! If something doesn’t work out for you, you can try again. This time, you’re trying again with more wisdom and experience. Chances are, your outcomes may be even better now that you’ve had that experience.
Sara Blakely, CEO and founder of Spanx, has a fantastic story about failure and her childhood. Check it out here.
“Success is the ability to go from one ‘failure’ to the next, with no loss of enthusiasm.” - Winston Churchill
Achievement is, “a thing done successfully with effort, skill, or courage.” A thing – any thing! Achievement isn’t solely attained when a goal is completed. Achievement is attained every single step of the way!
Every nourishing piece of food you put in your mouth – you’re achieving.
Every productive email you send – you’re achieving.
Every time you face a difficult situation – you’re achieving.
Every time you get up and show up, even when you really don’t want to – you’re achieving.
Every positive thought and intention – you’re achieving.
My point is – don’t let your every day achievements, big or small, go unnoticed. Celebrate every tiny win. Be proud of yourself. Be kind to yourself. Be happy with where you are at every point in your journey.
Often, the achievement of set goals is out of our control. Anything can pop up in our lives and put a huge block in our way, making it impossible to attain a goal by a set time. Sometimes, our specific goals change half way through – what do we do then? Other times, we work out that we don’t actually care for our goals. They turn out to be a lot less important than we first thought. This gave me an idea.
Instead of setting goals, how about we start setting directions?
Goal: Lose 5 kilos in one month.
Direction: Choose nourishing food options and increase exercise.
The difference: ‘lose 5 kg’ is not an action. Whereas ‘choose nourishing food options and increase exercise’ are actions you can do daily, at any moment in time.
Goal: Make $100,000 in sales this year.
Direction: Improve relationships and communication with clients and vendors. Make our brand appeal more to our demographic.
The difference: ‘Make $100,000 in sales’ is not an action. Whereas, working towards improving relationships, communication and marketing to a specific demographic can be broken down into daily activities and offers total flexibility if a time frame or monetary value changes.
If you’re a ‘goal person’:
Sometimes goals work for me, sometimes they don’t. That doesn’t mean I don’t think goal setting has a place in my life. It does. Goals are fabulous for allowing us to work out our priorities, find more purpose in every day, and decide what’s worth our energy.
For those of us who thrive off goal setting, let’s be sure to follow the following SMART formula:
S - be SPECIFIC. Who, what, when, where, how, why?
M - make it MEASURABLE. Can you track or measure your progress? How much? How many? By when?
A - is it ATTAINABLE? Ensure you give yourself enough time, take enough action, and commit. But, remember to be realistic. If you've got 3 kids, 4 hobbies, and a full time job, maybe give yourself a little extra time to avoid disappointment. You know what you can do.
R - is it RELEVANT? Is it relevant to your needs? Is it going to help you get somewhere better? Is it in alignment with your 'truth' (who you truly are, your beliefs, your passions etc.)?
T - TIME. Give yourself a realistic timeframe and stick to it.
TIP 1: Establish commitment early. That means, as soon as you make your SMART goal; book the flight, arrange the meeting, send the email, book into the class, or call the person.
TIP 2: Use everyday reminders. Put your goal as the title to your alarm in the morning, so it’s the first thing you see every day. Schedule goal-time into your calendar daily. Put reminders all around your home that tell you your goal and why you need to accomplish it.
If you’re not a ‘goal person’:
Find your direction, instead of your goal. Set aside five minutes every morning, take a deep breath, and ask yourself, “What do I need to do today to keep me going in the direction I want to go?”
Set a mid-morning and mid-afternoon alarm and do it again; take a deep breath and ask yourself, “What do I need to do right now to keep me going in the direction I want to go?”
This approach allows you to move forward in a way that listens to your body and mind to give it exactly what it needs at that moment, while staying on course. It allows flexibility and space to change your mind or take a break if that’s what you need.
You can also create a solid daily routine that lines up with your direction.
“The secret of your success is found in your daily routine.” - John C Maxwell
For every person:
Be kind to yourself
Be forgiving to yourself
Have a growth-mindset
Listen to your gut
Learn from your mistakes
Understand that no experience – good or bad – is ever a waste of time
Believe that you can
Do what works best for YOU
Just because goals have worked for you or the people you know in the past, doesn’t mean they’re the most effective strategy for getting you to where you want to be. You don’t need to ditch goals completely, you just need to find a way to move forward that works for you.
Above all – believe you can and you will.
Love & Happiness
P.S Do you know someone who could really benefit from reading this? To give them the motivation and push they need to make a difference in their own lives and the lives of the young people around them? Share this post with them. Even if they don't embrace it straight away, you've done your part. Thank you.
P.P.S Check out some more content to really take your life and your family members lives to the next level!
YouTube Weekly Tutorials: Click here
Exercise Your Mind Like You Exercise Your Body (Blog): Click here
How Your Beliefs Shape Your Reality (Blog): Click here
The Greatest Gift You Can Give (Blog): Click here
The next step:
Commit to being the change, and get started on my IHH 10 Days of Gratitude Challenge. Sign up now to receive your FREE copy. I made it especially for you :) (and not once did I let Adobe InDesign beat me! Ok, maybe once…)
From here, get involved in my whole-family approach and register your interest for the IHH Weekly Workshops ONLINE (for adults) and the in-person, Interactive IHH Weekly Workshops (for kids). Both programs launching early 2017! Note: Registering your interest does NOT lock you in to anything – it simply lets me know that people want to make a change, and gives me an idea of when and how I need to make it happen.
#wellness #youth #mentalhealth #wellbeing #happiness #gratitude #positiveeducation #positivity #love #health #kids #mum #dad #children #child #mentalillness #depression #anxiety #childdepression #adolescent #meditation #visualization #visualisation #lifecoach #bestlife #knowyourself #discover #loveyourself #create